Be Present

Being present is about being in the moment, being fully present with everyone and everything around you. It is about being mindful of what is happening at that very moment in and to you and the others around you. It is an important element of hygge. Wiking says that “hygge is charged with a strong orientation and commitment toward experiencing and savoring the present moment.” If we would but pay more attention we would see how much we could find hygge in the simplest of everyday things.

Ditch the digital devices

Be present (with your loved ones and yourself) ,stay in the moment. We live in a digital age, one of mobile phones, TVs and laptops. It is so very easy to get lost in social media and consequently neglect each other. I am sure we have all seen the typical scene of a group of friends hanging out together with everyone on their phones, sending messages or uploading photos onto social media of what a fantastic time they are having. I declare that nothing about this is hygge! In fact, I believe that if aliens were to visit our earth they would think that we are all pretty sad. Social media and the mobile phone have turned out to be society’s newest and most deceitful addiction. It creeps into our lives and before we know it we are trapped. Steve Tyler a pub landlord in England has built an electronic shield into the walls and ceiling of his pub, to prevent mobile devices from being used in there. He believes that the devices have killed the atmosphere in pubs across Britain with people failing to connect with each other because a mobile device is between them.

Some time ago I came across an article in the Mirror titled ‘Why a pub with no mobile phone signals is my idea of a heavenly night out’ and I instantly thought “WOW”. I wondered if I could actually mange to be in a pub or restaurant or any establishment for that matter with no signal. I began thinking of several what ifs. What if something happened to a loved one? How would they find me to let me know? What if someone needed me to get them from a remote and dangerous place?! What if there was some other type of emergency? Every eventuality came to mind. I am happy to report that turning my phone off and intentionally being present with loved ones is one of the most liberating feelings I have ever had. I know it may sound strange but I felt like I was breaking some kind of stupid societal rule and sticking it to ‘the man’. Whoever ‘the man’ is! And winning!  All I’d done was turn my phone off and become intentionally present in the presence of my loved ones.  We had a good chat, we laughed, we shared stories, we went down memory lane, we spoke about hopes and dreams, we made eye contact several times. Instead of having several Instagram images of which I had no recollection, I had several authentic real memory images attached and drenched with feelings that I could smile about.

I challenge you to do two things

1 -Give yourself at least one night per week where you go without mobile devices and social media. For your one night off, you turn your mobile phone off, put away the iPad or kindle. Shut that laptop closed and turn the TV off. Follow that up with some comfy socks, blanket, candles and a good book. Alternatively, just take the time to meditate.

2; Turn your devices off or on silent whenever you are with loved ones. Nothing spoils a hygge evening with loved ones faster than the disconnection from intimacy. If you are spending time with loved ones stay present, stay connected, and put away anything that may cause you to lose your focus on the present. Have dinner with your loved ones or just spend time in the evening with them without the presence of any devices. Extend this to an entire evening from 6pm until the next morning. This means going to bed without checking social media, news notifications or emails.

Excerpts from the book THE ULTIMATE 66 DAY CHALLENGE Finding Hygge The Danish Way to Happiness  By River Marley