Nurturing Positive Sibling Relationships
I have 3 siblings and our bond is undeniable. Looking at us now you couldn’t possibly guess what went down in our house when we were children. But it would appear that our parents did something right and steered us to a place where as adults we are now the best of friends.
Sibling rivalry is real and present but there is a lot that parents can do to build a lasting and undeniable bond between siblings.
Below are six ways parents can facilitate the development of a close and lasting bond
Encourage physical affection.
Instead of being overly protective with a new baby encourage older siblings to give kisses and cuddles. Teach them how to handle their new sibling in a gentle and careful way. Encouraging physical affection will help to build a two-way bond between both siblings
Encourage shared activities.
Notice the activities that they both like and encourage them to participate in those activities together. The more shared activities siblings have with each other the more their bond will grow. They will build special memories with each other which they will remember for a long time. I can still remember early childhood experiences that I shared with my siblings and we often reminisce and have full blown belly laughs about many of those experiences. No one else shares them with us. It connects us in a way that we will never be connected with anyone else, not even our parents.
Facilitate and Encourage Laughter
Laughter is often described as the best medicine, but it also serves as an excellent aid to developing connection. When you laugh with someone it releases endorphins which are often referred to as ‘feel good’ hormones. When these endorphins are released, they enable social bonding. Encourage your children to laugh together. An easy way is through the age-old knock-knock jokes and riddles.
Speak with them about your relationship with own siblings
Share stories about experiences you had with your siblings when you were a child, especially silly ones. Your kids will love the image of you as a child doing silly things with their uncles or aunts. Children want to be like the people they are most connected to, so its likely that your children will love to be like you and do fun and silly things with their siblings as well.
Spend adequate and equal time with each child.
If a child believes that their sibling receives preferential treatment it may create an environment that facilitates rivalry. Begin by giving each sibling an allotted 10 – 15 mins per day of special time. This is a time where you and the child will spend time together in an activity which the child favours.
Encourage your kids to team up with each other
Play family games which create teams of children against adults e.g. football, board games, racing etc. Let them work together to accomplish a task e.g. helping to plan an aspect of a family event like a treasure hunt for a party or maybe helping to create a special gift for an aunt or uncle or a special day like Father’s Day or Mother’s Day.
Encourage your children to care for each other
- Encourage them to say goodnight to each other as part of their bedtime routine. Create a family tradition where each child does something extra special for their sibling’s birthday.
- If one sibling gets hurt, make sure you include the other sibling in helping to make their sibling feel better even if it’s to give a hug or to fetch the plaster.
- Encourage older siblings to teach younger sibling’s skills that they’ve already learnt e.g. an older sibling could teach how to do a new dance move or how to tie their laces.
