Self care, Hygge and Reading

Put together an excellent reading list

As a parent self care is most often the last thing on our agenda. Sadly it should be the first or a very close second. The Danish are renowned for being the happiest nation on earth. research has shown that their practice of hygge is what sets them apart from the rest of us.

What is Hygge?

On the surface hygge is a confusing Danish word that does not sound the way it looks. To be honest my first encounter with the word was in written form and I pronounced it  ‘Hig-gee’ I am so grateful that I never once said the word out loud to anyone who knew better, because it would have certainly made for a not so very hygge experience. As versed as I may now be in the practice, I still find that I am tentative whenever I have to voice the word. I am never quite sure that I am pronouncing it correctly. It is pronounced ‘hoo-gah’ no not ‘hig-gee’ and not ‘high-gee’. Unfortunately I tried both. Those were not classy moments. I will tell you that much! This is where one would insert that hand on face emoji. Hygge is one of those words that can be used as a noun, adjective or verb. An evening with friends could be hygge. You can make your home hyggelig and you can have a onesie that is hyggesokker. Hygge is happiness wrapped up in comfort.

There is no one word in the English language that describes hygge. But the word ‘well being’ and coziness  is used a lot when it comes to describing the concept of hygge in English. Imagine a cold autumn/winter night, You are dressed in your favorite onesie and wrapped snugly in a blanket as you sit on the most comfortable sofa next to a fireplace. You are surrounded by candles flickering. The low lights of the fireplace and the candles cast shadows on the wall  and colors the room with those reddish, yellow-orange tones of the golden hour just before sunset. You are having the most delicious slice of cake and a hot drink in an extra large mug rest neatly in your hands, touches every surface area of your palms. The heat from the cup is perfect. Just the right amount of heat.  The warmth from the cup makes its way through to your entire body. When you place your feet on the floor that fluffy deep rug, the one that snuggles your toes, is right there to greet your feet. You are sitting with your most favorite people and one of them is snuggled right next to you on the large sofa feet up tucked tightly under the blanket. All worries, stresses and any manner of negativity have been left at the door. You’ve already watched The Songs of Music and now you are reminiscing about fun times. Laughter punctuates each sentence. There are hushed comfortable silences where no one feels the need to fill the air with sound. You can hear the crackling of the fire and smell the burning wood. This is your tribe and this is where your heart belongs. You could stay here forever.

This is the essence of Hygge. I think of it as the state of being contained by all things good. Of being wrapped in the warmth of love, peace, contentment, and gratitude. It encompasses the quest for abundance in simplicity. Hygge is like your favorite warm drink on a cold winter’s night. It is the practice of hospitality, the embracing of meaningful conversation and comfortable silence. It is about being together with your tribe. It is about choosing to be alone to enjoy the presence of one’s self. Hygge is about ridding your mind and physical presence of all things negative and filling that space with things that gently soothe and nurture the soul. Hygge in many ways is an escape from the relentlessly overwhelming and stressful nature of modern life.

Hygge is sincere, it is not a construct. It cannot be forced, but it can certainly be assisted. Much like a rose bud cannot be forced open but can be watered to assist the process of blossoming. One must choose hygge by encouraging an atmosphere where it can grow.  Hygge happens in a place of trust. To find hygge you must let go and let it in. A ridged sense of mistrust will not lead you to hygge. You must relax into it.  Hygge is containing and secure. It sparks joy in those who find it and like most meaningful experiences; its benefits will last far beyond its moment.

Although it is claimed as the antidote for a bleak autumn and winter season. Hygge can be experienced at any time of year and in any climate. Remember that Hygge is about ridding your mind and physical presence of all things negative and filling that space with things that gently soothe and nurture the soul. Sitting peacefully on a quiet beach as the sun kisses your skin is hygge, hanging in a hammock under the cold shade of a tree reading your favorite book or just being, a picnic in the park with loved ones, a quiet walk at the golden hour of the day just as the sky is turning orange. All of these are hygge.

How to Hygge

Reading

Reading can be therapeutic. A good book will offer a form of escapism, as it takes you on a journey with the characters. Escapism could provide a break from harsh reality and could be just as beneficial as a spa break or a vacation. Reading takes you into another world. It remains healthy as long as it’s not used as a constant avoidance strategy to continually escape and avoid reality. For some people the mere act of being able to read a book is a gift. It means that they have the gift of a moment of spare time in their day enough to get away from the hustles of life to read; an opportunity to occupy your mind with something other than the mundane or the stressful.

Reading can also help you to see the other side of the coin and can increase empathy in the reader.

Get some lovely books that could facilitate healthy escapism. However to avoid the accumulation of paper waste and paper production demand, choose to borrow a book from a library, a friend, or a book club instead of purchasing a new one. Once you are done with it, choose to pass it on to someone else. If you must purchase a book opt for buying the electronic kind as opposed to a printed copy. The more demand for printed books the more paper needs to be printed and the more trees need to be cut.

By River Marley

Look out for our upcoming series by River Marley on Hygge where you will find many more ways to find hygge as a parent.

This article was first part published in the book ‘The Ultimate 66 Day Challenge to Finding Hygge;  The Danish Way to Happiness’ By River Marley